Unleash the hounds at your own risk

By Ted Blankenship | February 25, 2022

My wife and I live in a Bel Aire independent living complex where there are dogs everywhere — out being walked, taken for a toilet run or just being their cute selves. 

They’re always on a leash of course, because that’s the rule. When you live in the country, dog ownership is different.

They dearly love to bring opossums and raccoons home. Long-dead ones are their favorites. I have nothing against opossums and raccoons as long as they’re alive in the woods and not dead on my front porch. 

Some dogs would rather bring a chicken home. Too often, the chicken is very much alive. You’ll want to know which neighbor the chicken belongs to and how big he is. The neighbor, that is. He’ll likely tell you he’s going to shoot your dog the next time it happens. Be relieved it’s not you he’s going to do away with. 

Then there are times when your dog will decide to eat his ranker finds instead of bringing them home — the canine equivalent of fast food. 

You’ll be faced with the dog owner’s dilemma: The dog is going to need pills, and you’ll have to get them down his or her throat. Your dog will appear eager to eat the pill but will find ways to avoid it while happily licking your face. Try not to remember what the dog has just eaten. 

You will have to outsmart the dog. But this has never happened because dogs are born with ways of craftily avoiding what they don’t consider food. 

A favorite human trick is to bury the pill in a weenie. It should work. If a dog will eat a long-dead opossum, why not a weenie fresh from the refrigerator? 

It’s because the average dog’s nose has 125 million scent receptors while a human nose has a measly five million. A Dachshund can sniff out drugs, dead bodies, bed bugs, explosives and other stuff while some humans think onions smell like garlic. So, detecting a pill in a weenie is as easy for any dog free of a head cold.

Contact Ted at tblankenship218@gmail.com.