I’ll never forget the moment I realized mother needed serious help. She had always been self-sufficient and always there for all her children. Now, at 86 years old, she couldn’t properly care for herself. She didn’t remember if she took her medicines, what she ate for lunch or even if she had eaten. She couldn’t get around as well anymore. Getting up and out of her favorite chair was a painful effort. Mother needed help now, not later.
My brothers and sisters and I didn’t know what to do. We didn’t understand what assisted living or memory care meant, much less terms like dementia or Alzheimer’s.
We did everything possible to care for mom in her own home, but that only lasted a short time. We quickly realized she needed 24/7 attention and that we weren’t equipped to provide it. Just like most everyone going through this experience, we had to learn from scratch. You may be experiencing this too, and it’s best to be prepared for what’s ahead.
Assisted living is when a person is provided 24/7 needed care of “ADLs” (activities of daily living). ADLs include cooking, cleaning, bathing, dressing, toileting, medication management — just about everything needed to function day or night. An advanced level of care may include care for incontinence and/or specialized care for those suffering with brain change/cognitive decline/memory loss, which calls for specialized “memory care”.
Memory loss is a common experience, especially with age. About 40% of people over age 60 experience some form of memory impairment.
Dementia is a progressive condition. Its symptoms worsen over time and currently not reversible. Understanding how these conditions affect people suffering from them and knowing how to properly and lovingly help someone with dementia is a learned skill used by trained professionals. Assisted living and memory care are provided within either an apartment-style facility (generally 60-250 residents) or a Home Plus facility (8-12 residents).
Navigating the challenges of helping an aging loved one is difficult and painful for anyone. Just remember, you are not alone. There are professional resources to help you.
Jim Guarino is the owner of Comfort and Love Wichita Home Plus.
